Untitled

His lids fall heavy to the cheeks
Finally letting go
He lost again.

Midnight darkness tightly
Wraps around his shoulders
Blankets over his mind
Lulling it into a deep
unwanted sleep.

A crawling, growing shadow -
His nightmare returns
like dust to the windowsill.

In the mirror he sees
His image –
Made of clay,
Living and breathing
Colorless
Odorless aura
Swirls around him
He lowers his gaze
To his neck,
Shoulders, his veins
Undulate with each breath.
He knows what is to come.

Crimson vessels like vines
Torn, waiting to berth,
Reaching for the pier
That is there no more.

A perfect box
Cut out and stolen,
Leaving behind a void -
A throbbing window.

His own bellow
Thrust him awake,
Icy drops of sweat
Stinging his flesh.
The clay shell vanished.

And he still knows what is to come –
Another layer of dust on the windowsill.

Under the Bridge

It laughed as it touched the rocks
Rushed past them, never looking back

Each time the rocks welcome it.
Usually the stream of laughter
Brought a sense of peace,
Continuity and stability.
Under the stream
Their hard exterior softened,
Complimenting the fast curves
Of this relentless traveler

- What’s out there?
They asked once in a while.
At times it spoke of
Magnificent landscapes
Or a foul man made world,
Dark underground and its fiends
Sometimes it just wept -
A stream of memories,
Running faster then ever.

for Francis

I find myself
on lockdown quite often

shut off
from emotion
no empathy
no sympathy
dear ones
no longer dear
rather an
annoying nuisance
I medicate
with self-love
self-assurance
and a small dose
of self-absorbance

but you,
always interfere
trying to get some
of me
when I’m too
involved
in my world tonight
indulged in
my paradise
my battles
my conquests
and my failures

so,
right now
I don’t really have
room for anyone else
I am on lockdown
shut off
and I like it
I need this – me
why don’t you
see that its best
if I go
because clearly
I am no longer willing
to share – me.

Moments on Mute

Its 1:12 am
In this muted room
And he can’t stop listening

Images change on TV,
Tall dramatic silhouettes
In pursuit of shadows
Dark and boring

If you listen
The only thing
Trying to communicate
In this room
Is the dirty old fan
In the window
Sucking
And spewing the smoke
Out -

But he can’t stop listening
To his thoughts
His thoughts
Loud and vivid
They drown out
The fan and
Everything else with it

Sultana

Surely sugar
She sweetly said,

Solemnly smiling –
She submitted herself
To his shame,
his secrets and sin –

She was his
Symbol,
His
Sacrament,
sketched into his soul

She swayed with him
In a sorrowful symphony –
His sneer
From under the sheets
Saluted her surrender
Her sacrifice of self

She seemed
Blissful,
simply -
her!
Subconsciously,
She swayed another
Stirring within
something sinister,
slithering,
hissing
with self-reproach
remorse…

Surreal
shine sun
spilled over the horizon

and sunk in the sea.
Serenity -

Slowly she swayed
Somewhere, somewhere

Rina and Alexander

In just one moment,
my paradise,
my world shattered around me.
He crumbled it up,
taking my breath away,
destroying everything I have built around me
in
one
swift glimpse.

That’s when we met,
as we stood before each other in silence,
in an unspoken hello.
I quickly drowned inside his gaze,
trying to save him from mine.

I laughed –
a bitter, nervous and eerie laughter.
I laughed
because I never believed in love at first sight,
not me,
I was much smarter then that.
I laughed because,
now that it has happened,
in that same moment my heart broke,
hacked to
dripping
with
sorrow
pieces
right before my eyes.
I fell in love that could never soar,
and tomorrow I will come crashing down.
There will be no one to catch me.
I will free fall through white clouds,
through rain,
through sunshine and through snow,
and through fiery and yellow autumn leaves.
I will fall through seasons,
I will fall through years,
I will fall through joys and sorrows,
through sickness and good health,
and I will keep falling until we meet again.

I realized I was staring at him,
and he at me.
Were my lips moving?

It didn’t matter
because he leaned over
and whispered everything he’s been trying to tell me with his eyes.


So when our lips met,
I wept at
the thought of never tasting them again,
and when our bodies touched,
I only wished to stay there forever.

In the morning
I was gone.
back to my world.
Emptier then ever,
I kept wondering
if I will ever see him again.

Rina and Pavel

I should not feel
The pain of distance
My need for you
Is strong no more

And now you're gone
Within an instance
My heart's at peace
My mind's at war